There were these tampons on sale at the store, a brand I had never seen before, “Dittie”. A strange name to begin with, but hell, when things like this are on sale, I’ll buy them because I need them.
The concept behind these “Ditties” is that, kinda like a fortune cookie, each individual unit has a supposedly inspirational saying printed on the wrapper. Unlike a fortune cookie, you cannot eat them after adding on the “in bed” ending onto the little quip. They printed stuff on ‘em like “If you’re going to wait around for Mr. Right, might as well have fun with Mr. Wrong.” and “You go girl!”. I find it disturbing that my feminine products are urging me to, um, “Go”.
I just about lost it the other day when I pulled one of these Ditties out of the box. It read:
“Every girl has a little Dittie in them.”
I wanted to cry. I mean, for chrissakes, bleeding monthly is difficult enough to endure as it is.
O.M.G.