September 30th, 2003 § § permalink
I love this quintessential story from the latest DNRC (Dogbert’s New Ruling Class) newsletter…
“Observant DNRC members continue to send me true quotes of Induhviduals. After staring at the list for a while I realized that if I put them together they make an excellent story:”
We were sitting on our hands, twiddling our thumbs, when suddenly the door opened. It made the hair on my back stand on end. He was smoking like a fish and swearing like a stuck pig. I could tell from his shifty eyes that he might try to pull the fox over my leg.
“Do you have a pen?” he asked. “I need to make a mental note.”
I didn’t want him to stick my pen into his ear, but I also didn’t think it would be a good idea to rattle the barrel because the monkeys might shoot the fish. So I offered my pen.
“Do you seriously think I came up the river on a banana tree?” he growled before slapping the pen from my hand.
I wanted to fight him, but I already had too many hands in the fire. Still, you have to kill the stone with the bird while you can. He was slow as Moses. I kicked him where the moon don’t shine. I didn’t want to beat a dead bush, so I waited for his next move. The ball was in his camp now. He didn’t look like he had both oars in his basket, but maybe I was trying too hard to read between the tea leaves.
If you are not a member of DNRC (and I have been since 1997), join now and be a part of the elite.
September 19th, 2003 § § permalink
Yarrrr! It be Talk Like a Pirate Day t’day.
Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate’s life for me…
September 5th, 2003 § § permalink
Things that I have learned in Japan so far:
- Children’s TV programming here puts the Teletubbies to shame.
- You must smoke like a smokestack.
- You need to have hundreds of little dangly charms hanging from your cell phone, even if you are a guy.
- Your hair must be bleached to some extent.
- Photo Sticker booths are an amazing phenomenon that can fill an entire store.
- It is possible to sleep on the train while standing up.
- All foods can be enhanced by the addition of mayonnaise.
- The Flashdance look is trés chic.
- No matter how grubby your clothes are, you need to wear strappy high heels, or high chunky heeled shoes.
I’ll add more points to this entry as I think of them.
May 26th, 2003 § § permalink
I hereby propose that all weekends from this point on will be three day weekends.
Three day weeknds offer the following advantages:
- two nights for staying up as late as we want, resulting in maximum relaxation
- two mornings to catch up on sleep lost, resulting in better moods
- A full day not sandwiched by the stresses of the previous and following weekdays
- More of a chance to get your butts outside
I’m sure there are more (and better reasons), but heck, who can argue with a three day weekend?
Who’s with me?
May 19th, 2003 § § permalink
A recent entry by Robyn reminds me of a great link that I want to share with all ya’lls: I Used to Believe. This site is a running database of what people used to believe when they were children. You wouldn’t believe some of the stories, but heck, when you’re a kid, you’ll believe almost anything!
» Read the rest of this entry «
